Being Happy in Your Marriage
Be Transparent – they are almost extinct now, but you may recall using a “transparency” sheet…the clear plastic sheet was placed on a lit up screen and then projected onto the wall. These days “I’m just being honest” can be an excuse to be almost too transparent…telling your spouse all their faults is not ‘being honest’, it’s venting and usually ends up in bigger fight! Not a way to ‘enhance your relationship’!
Being transparent means letting your partner see the real you, flaws and all, under the scrutiny of a spotlight and exaggerated on the ‘wall’ of your lives. You should be able to “see right through him” through to the man you chose and love him just as he is. The good thing with projectors is you can sharpen the focus and adjust the settings so you can read clearly. Don’t expect your man to know exactly what you’re thinking or feeling if the ‘light is off’ – tell him, and if you can fit it all on ‘one sheet’, all the better.
Forgive and Forget – easier said than done, but so, so worth it. When you say you’re sorry for something you’ve done, or neglected to do, then that should be the end of it. Like when, your spouse apologizes, forgives and then acts as if it never happened. I’m talking the little things, like bought crunchy peanut butter instead of smooth, or gave the kids candy for supper on a school night, or left her coat and shoes lying in front of the door. All the little irritations need to be glossed over whenever possible. These are just the facts of living with one another as imperfect human beings – sorry! If you both make it easy to apologize and forgive, when bigger offenses come up you will both be mature and capable of discussion and forgiveness.
Have a Social Life – I always encourage couples to keep friendships and healthy relationships going…life doesn’t stop when you get married (it stops when you have kids…hahaha, just joking- LOL!). Encourage your husband to keep on the hockey or soccer team, cheer him on and make sure he has drinks and snacks to take with him to the game. For your wife, if she loves crafts or spinning or yoga, whatever it may be, encourage her to keep up these activities and don’t begrudge her time out with her girlfriends. Maturity is giving your spouse room to be themselves, to love doing what they love, and not resenting the time and energy they spend doing it. Now in all things there is balance of course…you can’t go hiking with the guys every weekend, and she can’t be out every night at the movies…find what works for you.