I remember when we first began Dream Weddings Canada – The idea was Crazy! After all, Who starts a business with the sole intent of helping their customers so well, they never return (at least never for the same reason). OK, we are privileged enough to serve many couples “Renewing their Vows“, but let’s face it, our strength is in serving couples so they may have the perfect wedding ceremony! This isn’t about Repeat Business! It’s about the wedding and the marriage, the launch of two people in love beginning their life-long journey together!
Your Wedding, Your Life
I first heard the term “starter marriage” a few weeks ago, and actually felt sick to my stomach. Some too-skinny woman on TV was saying it makes total sense for marriages to last 3, 4, maybe 7 years and then ‘people grow apart’. Sure, everyone changes with age, but like good wine, we are supposed to improve and increase in value and maturity!
If you think planning a wedding is hard work, wait until you’re planning a marriage. And I hope you take one just as seriously as the other, or what’s the point?!
A couple married for 60 years recently wrote about why they think they have lasted that long, and not just ‘endured’ but ‘enjoyed’ their life together. I thought a few of the husband’s points were worth mentioning here…
Listen – God gave you two ears and one mouth, so we ought to listen twice as much as we talk. I think ‘active listening’ is so important, too. Listening with eye contact and no distractions. I’ve learned to say “Jay, I need to talk to you about something important” and picking the right time. We try to not talk and text, but one step at a time!
Moments – enjoy moments together. Date Night is fantastic, nobody appreciates a date night more than a mother of small children, but you can’t have all of your ‘time’ needs met one night out of a whole month. Take moments during the day for a cup of coffee, or just to send a cute note on Facebook, or kiss before one of you leaves the house. Marriage will thrive, not just survive, on daily upkeep.
Little things become a big deal – and this is a good thing. Years ago when we were first married and living in a big city, we always took the bus. The first day of every month, Jay would have a new bus pass ready for me, and I so appreciated this! I always make sure we have Heinz ketchup in the fridge and I never complain about the toilet roll holder being empty. I could, but really, I just change it and keep quiet. He takes out the garbage, daily, without being asked. A knight is shining armour couldn’t do more.
Do something your spouse appreciates, without asking for a brass band to lead the way. You’ll find it makes for a smoother, happier walk through married life.